Deadly Weapons (1973) / Thriller-Adult

MPAA Rated: R for nudity, sexuality, and vioolence
Running Time: 75 min.

Cast: Chesty Morgan, Harry Reems, Greg Reynolds, Saul Meth, Phillip Stahl
Director: Doris Wishman
Screenplay: Judy J. Kushner
Review published February 12, 2000

For those viewers that have a thing for those "so bad they're good" movies, Deadly Weapons is must-see-TV of the highest (or is that lowest?) order. It stars Chesty Morgan (aka Zsa Zsa), who lives up to her nickname with one seriously endowed chest, as the wife of a two-bit crook who gets double-crossed by his own partner. Later, while in a telephone conversation with her husband, his partner and another hit-man put him on ice and Chesty is an "ear-witness" to the events. With vital information as to their whereabouts overheard, she's off to avenge her husband's death by any means necessary.

While definitely offering guaranteed laughs due to the sheer awfulness of the entire production, Deadly Weapons really is an atrociously made and conceived affair chock full of horrendous acting, horribly inept directing, and ridiculous dialogue. Perhaps the audience to which this film is intended, pervs who want to see Chesty's chest, won't be disappointed, but after the initial "oh my god!!", those assets fail to do much in the way of titillation (so to speak). Porn-star Harry Reems (Inside Deep Throat) delivers the film's worst performance (which says more than you can imagine), and Chesty herself sinks the film into blandness with a performance that could be easily confused with sleepwalking. As bad as this film is, this classic of bad trash cinema is damn near worth watching every painful second just to see the unique way with which Chesty dispatches her victims. Smother knows best...

Qwipster's rating:

2000 Vince Leo