I
like films about superheroes. I like Robert Townsend (A
Soldier's Story, American Flyers).
A film by Robert Townsend about superheroes would seem like it couldn't
miss with me. It does -- and by a lot.
Meteor Man was created
with good intentions, but as they say, the road to Hell is paved with
them. "Hell" in this case meaning having to sit and view this
movie.
Townsend wanted to craft a
socially-aware anti-street gang film, with a superhero coming
in to save the day for the good folks of his neighborhood. It's a
noble endeavor, and worthy of some admiration, but Townsend made a
mistake by writing this film himself.
Townsend casts himself in the
starring role as mild-mannered Washington D.C. school teacher Jefferson
Reed, whose street where he lives has been plagued of late by a vicious
street gang peddling their dope. He wants to fight back, but he is
also overcome by fear himself. One night a green and glowing
meteorite comes crashing down on him, sending him to the hospital with
sever injuries. The injuries are miraculously gone the next day,
and he even learns he has gained some sort of powers, such as the
ability to fly, shoot lasers, see through things, and absorb knowledge
through touch. He also is impervious to things, which makes him
take up the mantle of saving his neighborhood, donning the costume of a
superhero called Meteor Man to scare the crap out of the gang that is
menacing his community.
What Meteor Man really
lacks is a sense of credibility. Out in the streets of the inner
city, street cred means all when it comes to the ability to preach to
people that won't listen to anyone else. It's true that Townsend
is African-American, and a respected one at that, known for being
outspoken against the way African-Americans have been portrayed in films
and on television. In fact, his big breakthrough, Hollywood
Shuffle, is all about the frustrations of not being able to make it
in show business without accepting roles that make a mockery of his own
race.
While Townsend certainly knows
about the problems of street gangs and how they instill fear in decent,
hardworking people in the inner city, he isn't able to create an inner
city world that seems like anything remotely resembling reality.
The menacing street gang he envisions all dye their hair blonde and call
themselves the Golden Lords, but none of the Lords seem to have any edge
that would lead you to think they are hardened criminals. In fact,
they seem like they stepped out of a cartoon.
Unfortunately, Townsend doesn't
have an ear for the lingo of the street, and he also doesn't seem to
have an eye for the look of the street or the gangs that inhabit them
either. The streets that are overrun by the street gang in his
film looks more like a movie set than any street I've ever seen.
The people that live on the street feel more like charismatic
entertainers than real people. There's just nothing in the film
that has the feel of anything anyone could possibly relate to as a slice
of reality.
If Townsend had at least handed
over his script to someone with a little more of a finger on the pulse
of the real problems, and a stronger gift for modern street-savvy
dialogue, it would have probably gone a long way to making Meteor Man
a much more credible movie to youngsters that would benefit from the
anti-gang message of the film. By not doing so, unfortunately,
people laugh at it, because it comes across as soft, silly, and stupid.
It makes being a good person seem very un-cool, and even "cool" people
like rappers Big Daddy Kane, Naughty By Nature, and Cypress Hill can't
make it any cooler. In fact, they probably lose coolness points in
the eyes of their fans for even being in a film this corny.
However, even if the film were
to have been bolstered by credible vernacular, realistic portrayals of
gangs, and filming on location in a real neighborhood, there is also one
central problem that just can't be overcome: it's own misguided
message. The problem with Townsend's anti-violence message is that
it actually is pro-violence, although he clearly didn't intend it to be
so. All solutions in the film come through acts of violence,
whether perpetrated by Meteor Man himself, the "good guys" he is coming
to the aid of, or the other gangs that move in to try to save the day.
If you come to beat people up, you will be beaten back. If you
come to shoot people, someone is going to shoot you. Basically,
Townsend has created a situation where his solution to fighting gangs is
to form your own gang to fight them.
I know what Townsend was trying
to do here. He was trying to reach out to children and say, "Hey
kids, I'm Meteor Man and I'm a good guy. Be a good person so you
can be more like me.". Unfortunately, by making a superhero so
dopey in a film this trite, it only makes being the good guy the un-cool
thing to be. It's also not a funny thing to be either, judging by
the lack of quality gags.
I think superhero films are
cool. I think Robert Townsend is cool. How could a superhero
film by Robert Townsend be this lame?
