Ready to Rumble (2000)

They may be ready to rumble, but they sure weren’t ready to make a movie.

A couple of septic tank cleaners are dismayed when their hero, WCW champ Jimmy the King (Platt), loses a title match and gets thrown out of professional wrestling.  The two idiots decide to help the King get his crown back and set out on finding him, and take him back to the WCW arena in hopes of a rematch.

Watching real professional wrestling (isn’t that an oxymoron?) is vastly more entertaining than anything the makers of this putrid filth can think up, and I’m actually flabergasted that Martin Landau’s career has sunk so low that he felt compelled to even make his brief appearance in it. 

After an hour of this insult to anyone with an IQ over 40, I just could take no more.  I was down on the mat, 1-2-3 — I’m the big loser. 

A ridiculous plot, unappealing actors, and 100 minutes of fart and poop jokes are all you are going to see if you have the misfortune of renting this crapola.  This probably has the worst script I’ve seen for a movie in a long time — I don’t know how long Mighty Ducks screenwriter Stephen Brill spent working on it, but he could have saved himself a lot of time and just dipped blank sheets of paper into the septic tank the boys drive around and come up with the same result. 

Even pro wrestling fans, who you wouldn’t think are particularly hard to please, will think this sucks brontosaurus.  Watch Beyond the Mat instead.

Qwipster’s rating: F

MPAA Rated: language, crude humor, sexual content including brief nudity, and wrestling violence
Running Time: 107 min.

Cast: David Arquette, Oliver Platt, Scott Caan, Martin Landau, Rose McGowan
Director: Brian Robbins
Screenplay: Steven Brill