Granted,
the original
Cannonball Run
isn't exactly a critical masterpiece, but for what it is, it does work
well. The superfluous sequel, however, shows what can happen when
all the fun is sucked out of the formula. In hopes of cashing in
on the successful first venture, many of the participants are called
back for round two, only this time, the creative forces botched it big
time. Normally, sequels take what was successful from the first
film and give you much more, but Cannonball Run II
mystifyingly strips away all of the good stuff, then injects some of the
dumbest, most unfunny, and completely unnecessary side plots to fill up
most of the running time. I'm not sure what they paid to get all
of these stars, but it would have been a far better service to give the
fans of the series the cash instead and forgo making a film altogether.
The plot? Well,
let's just say that the most amazing thing about this movie about a
coast-to-coast car race is that 90% of it is not about that at all.
I'm really hard-pressed to tell you the actual plot, as it never really
makes a great deal of sense, but it has something to do with a bunch of
mafia type guys out to get some cash from the Sammy Davis Jr. (The
Trackers) character, and the turmoil they cause in meddling
every step of the way in the overall race.
The first problem with
Cannonball Run II lies in the fact that Brock Yates,
writer of the first film and one of the creators of the actual race, is
out as screenwriter. In his place are the screenwriters for a
piece of movie mega-crap called Megaforce, Ruddy and
director Needham, and they commit some of the most flagrant errors you
can make in writing a film like this. It's hard to believe that it
take nearly half of the movie before the actual race is underway, and
just when you finally think you are going to see some fun racing action,
the idiotic plot re-emerges and the race angle is detoured. Going
from California to Connecticut, and the drivers never progress past
Arizona or Nevada until the final scene!
Instead of the race, the
film is merely an excuse for nonstop cameo appearances, cars crashing
through buildings or fistfights in every other scene, and the silliest
ideas for cheap laughs you'll ever see in a film. Unless you
absolutely think an orangutan slapping people and giving everyone the
middle finger is hilarious, or want to see Marilu Henner (Batman
& Mr. Freeze: Sub-Zero) getting it on with Dom DeLuise (History
of the World Part I), it's far more entertaining watching the
second hand of your watch go around 108 times.
When there finally is any
action, it is noticeably sped up and completely uninspired. The
awful soundtrack doesn't help matters, All of the reasons to see the
film are nowhere to be found -- not much racing plus almost no funny
moments = a total waste of time, energy and money, especially for anyone
who paid to see it. Don't watch this unless you are inebriated,
and if you are, keep on drinking -- maybe you can pass out before having
to endure any more of this stomach-turning travesty!
